"There's Gotta Be More..."

So maybe this is just my jacked up hormones talking (the pill is clearly messing with me), but I'm fed up and frustrated with my life.

I feel OLD. I know I know, I'm only 21---but only for another month :/ It's probably my fault for counting down to my 21st year for SO long that now that it has come and is almost gone I'm feeling like my freaking life is over. Not to mention there is NO way I can top last years "21st Birthday Weekend Shitshow" :(, and Amber is gone back to Mass, Autumn and Analynn will both be out of town. W T (freaking) F. So what the heck am I gonna do?

Worst part is, that's not even the main reason why I'm stressing. My life right now is so freaking predictable that I seriously just see it passing by way to fast. Monday-Friday...9-6..my life as a preschool teacher, Everyday is planned, on a schedule. Every night..come home make dinner, relax, don't do anything crazy cause I have work in the morning. I love my job, don't get me wrong but I need to break out of this routine before I drive myself insane.

Some of the best times are the ones not planned--Like when Andy called to say he was in LA and Analynn convinced me to just call out and we road tripped up together to see him for the day (THANK YOU), or the other week when Autumn's friend Steph was in town and we went to Mo's in Hillcrest (on what just happened to be their anniversary) on a Wednesday night and danced all night with dudes that had no interest in us (and could break it down way better), or going to PB for Lacey's Birthday on a Thursday and getting completely shitfaced and kicked out of the bar for the first time and feeling like crap the next day, but it was all totally 100% worth it.

I need to not care if I only get 3 hours sleep and have to work the next day. I need to not care if things aren't always the most practical. I need to not ALWAYS let money be the deciding factor (within reason). I need to LIVE.

(My diet plan does sort of put a damper on my life, but I will have to find a happy balance)

You never know when your life could end, and all I want is to be able to look back and not have regrets, not have to wish I fulfilled dreams, and actually go through with them all.

Starting this weekend, My new motto is life is gonna be flat out "Why Not". If I can't answer that question with a legitimate reason when asked then I'm gonna do it. Why Not? Live my life.


Wish me luck kids.


***raises glass*** Cheers to A New Chapter of My Life <3